Grief: The work of the soul

(for the UU Fellowship of Asheville)

"I consider grief a threshold emotion.

In other words, when we step across that threshold and enter the room of grief,

it has a way of opening up the rest of our life.”

(Francis Weller)

We’ve all experienced grief in our lives – many times. It’s a natural response to loss.

We usually talk about grief as an emotion that arises in response to death.

And it’s often a topic we’d prefer to steer away from…either ignoring our own grief or feeling uncomfortable around others who are experiencing it.

Let’s have a different conversation about grief.

What is grief was actually a skill – one that most of us didn’t learn?

What if there was a direct relationship between our ability to move through grief

and our ability to feel joy?

This interactive, online course explores loss through the work of Francis Weller’s Five Gates of Grief.*

It’s a course that invites an investigation of the weight of griefs that we carry – some well-known and others hidden or unexamined – and the ways those griefs impact how fully we love and live our lives.

The Five Gates of Grief are:

·       Everything we love we will lose

·       The places that have not known love

·       The sorrows of the world

·       What we expected yet did not receive

·       Ancestral grief

Weller refers to utilizing practices of 'soul hygiene.’

He writes, "To clear out the soul regularly with practices around grief is an absolute necessity...These practices become a way of maintaining a connection to our own soulful life, but then also to the soul of the world. If we don't practice those things, we become more isolated and more disconnected."

“From our work as hospice nurses, end-of-life doulas, and educators, we have witnessed how people have been transformed by being able to reflect on and better understand the role of grief in healing hearts and souls.” -Facilitators Jan Booth and Trish Rux

Who is typically interested in taking a course like this?

Some people take this course to learn new life skills around their relationship with grief.

Others might want to feel more comfortable being with friends or family who are grieving and mourning.

There may be professionals who work with issues of loss and grief – and are looking for an approach that speaks to the soul, as well as to the heart and mind.

And other people are intrigued by the idea that denying grief can compress the breadth of emotions we experience – and are looking for ways to feel more joyful.

If you resonate with any of these motivations – or have your own unique curiosity about this topic, come join us as we walk through the material together.

Some of the ideas we’ll explore through individual reflection, instruction, and facilitated conversation include: 

Grief is meant to be fluid and move, not become stuck and hardened.

Grief and joy are intertwined and deeply connected.

We carry grief from our families and ancestors, just as we carry parts of their resilience.

Grief can be trapped by shame, guilt, and trauma.

Grief and loss are a kind of initiation on the level of the soul.

We can learn to accompany others in the process of grief and mourning.

*For more information about the 5 Gates of Grief, you might want to consider purchasing his book: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. (The book is not a requirement for this online course.)

 This course is held over five sessions (participants attend all): Mondays, March 29th-April 26th 6:30-8:00 p.m. Eastern.